a secret love
by bellacullen8903
Summary: bella and jasper fall in love but they must keep it from the cullen family. What will happen when the cullens leave bella and she becomes a vampire?


Preface

They said that there was an ancient vampire prophecy. It went something like this: There will come one vampire who will be loved by two of her kind. She will be so powerful that none can destroy her. Vampires will fear her; humans will name her their new found savior. All through her human life she will know of the existence of vampires and will never fear them. As a human, her blood's scent will be so enticing that most would crave it. She will be the salvation for both kinds.

They say I am her. I wouldn't know nor do I care. All I care about is my lost love. I don't think they expected me to reveal our kind to the humans, but they don't control me nor could they stop me. I am too powerful for them; they fear me. I will find him, I must. I do not care if humans worship me nor do I care for the taste of them. I just need to find him; I need to find my Jasper.

Chapter One

I was worried about Jasper, but I knew not to voice my concern. Edward was driving me home and was probably more furious with himself than with Jasper. He was looking coldly out the windshield. He, of course, was silent and it was driving me insane.

"Please, just say something," I begged him.

"What do you want me to say, Bella?" he asked not looking at me.

"That you forgive me," I said, though it wasn't really his forgiveness I was looking for. "If I had been more careful, nothing would have happened."

"Would you listen to yourself?" he said through clenched teeth. "You shouldn't have to be more careful. This isn't your fault. If you were at Mike Newton's with the rest of your normal friends the worst that would have happened was them not being able to find a bandage for the paper cut."

"How did Mike Newton come in to this conversation?' I asked.

"He's a healthier choice for you, Bella."

"Mike and I together, I'd rather die, Edward."

"And you could have tonight."

By now we were in front of my house. All I could think about was getting Edward out of here so Jasper could come to me. I studied Edward for a moment before realizing just how dark his eyes had gotten because of what happened. I sighed and reached over to turn his head toward me.

"Your eyes are nearly pitch black, you should go hunt."

"I'm fine."

"But you're not, Edward. You're worried about me and you're thirsty. Go, hunt. I'll be fine."

I started to gather my gifts, placing them gently under my arms. Edward was already at my door when I had a good hold on them.

"Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded. "At least let me take these up to your room for you."

"Okay," I said as he took the gifts from me. Then, not looking into his eyes I said, "Love you."

"As I love you," and with that he was gone.

I hurried up to the house, wanting to get to my room as soon as possible.

"Bella?" Charlie called as I entered the house.

"Yeah, Dad. It's me." I called back to him as I hung my coat up.

"Have fun?" he asked as a walked through the living room.

"Yeah," I replied, walking to the stairs. "Alice went overboard. Cake, flowers even gifts."

"Gifts? Like what?" he asked.

"A new stereo for my truck and a few ones I didn't get to open," I said. "I tripped and fell on my way to the other gifts, the side of the table cutting me on my way down. No big deal. Carlisle fixed me up right there on the spot. But we ran out of time because of it so I figured I'd just leave the unopened gifts in the truck and open them in front of the Cullen's tomorrow."

"Bella," he sighed, shaking his head.

"Well, I'm going to bed, night."

"Night, Bells."

I rushed up the stairs and quickly changed, hoping Jasper would get here soon. My hopes were soon answered as Jasper came through the window. He wouldn't look at me at first and I was worried he was angry at me, but then I felt self-hatred coming off him.

I walked up behind him, knowing that he could hear my every move, and gently placed one of my hands on his shoulder. At first he stiffened, but slowly relaxed into my touch. Slowly he turned towards me, guilt all over his face. He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me closer to him.

"I am so sorry, Bella," he whispered.

"Shh," I shushed him. "Listen to me, Jasper. This is not your fault. I should have been more careful."

"More careful?" he said. "Bella you shouldn't have to be careful."

"You sound just like Edward," I sighed. "He thinks I should be with Mike Newton, but I'd rather die. I'd rather die than be with anyone but you."

"You have the shield up, don't you?" he asked.

"I always have it up around the room," I replied with a sigh. "You know that."

"Just checking," he said, then bent down and kissed me.

It was a short kiss, but it was sweet and full of love.

"I love you," he said as he pulled away.

"And I love you," I said. "How upset is Edward?"

"Upset enough to leave," he said. "According to Alice, he's going to try to convince us it's time to go and to leave you behind."

"But you can't leave," I said, turning away from him. "I can't lose you."

"Bella, you know I have to go," he said. "They'd get suspicious if I don't."

"But you'll come back?"

"No. I can't risk hurting you, Bella. It's better this way."  
"Better this way? How can it be better this way when just the thought of us being a part makes me feel like I can't breathe?"

Suddenly his arms were around me. "Bella," he whispered into my ear. "I have to do this. No matter how much it hurts us, we must part. My control needs so much work and I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you."

"I need you."

"Your safety comes first, Bella."

"When are you leaving?" I asked as tears ran down my face.

"Alice, Rose, Emmett, Esme, and I are leaving tonight. Carlisle and Edward are leaving at the end of the week. Edward is planning on being the only one to say good bye but I couldn't leave without telling you first. You'll have to act as if it's the first you've heard of it."

"I'll just pretend he's you."

"I had this made for you," he said as he fastened a necklace around my neck. "There's only two diamonds."

I looked at the pendant and saw a simple golden cursive J that started and ended with a small diamond.

"It's beautiful," I said as he wrapped his jacket around me.

"If you ever have a rough day, I hope that all you have to do is look at it and know just how much I love you; how much I miss you."

"You should go, Alice will begin to wonder."

I tried to give him back his jacket but he simply said, "Keep it so you don't forget my scent." He then kissed my forehead and was gone. I took in one last sniff of his jacket and then hid it under a loose floor board in my closet and placed a box full off my Arizona clothes over it. Then I tucked my necklace under my pajamas and went to bed for my most restless night so far in my life.

Chapter Two

The days went by fast; the nights becoming worse with each passing day without Jasper. Edward stayed every night until I fell asleep, only to return again before I'd wake in the morning. I only knew he left because I would often wake up from nightmares in the middle of the night.

Before I knew it, Friday was here. Edward had been stand – offish all week; his eyes solid like stone instead of their usual liquid topaz. I knew he was just acting; that he thought it would be easier for me if he acted as though he didn't care. I knew he did. I knew it killed him to act that way towards me.

When he broke up with me after school Friday, I forced myself to be heartbroken, but really I was relieved. I could now show how I felt on the inside, what I had been hiding all week. He asked me to promise him that I wouldn't do anything reckless, "for Charlie's sake," and he in return promised that it would be like he, and his family, had never existed.

He can't keep that promise, though. Even if he took away all of the things that would remind me of _them_, he wouldn't know to take away my necklace or Jasper's coat. He couldn't take away memories or the house.

He left me alone in the forest and from there I acted solely on instinct. I ran after him. I knew I would never catch him; I knew that it was hopeless, that he wanted me safe, but all I could think about was that he knew where Jasper was. So I ran, tripping several times.

It was dark by the time I gave up. I didn't know where I was and I had just tripped over a log. I just stayed down. I felt like I didn't have the strength to get up. I was tired and I just wanted all the emotions to end. I could feel were the branches of trees and thorns of bushes had give my minor cuts; the bruises from the repeated trips.

Minutes soon turned into hours and before I knew it the moon was over head. I could hear voices calling for someone but I didn't let them register. I just wanted to stay where I was and be left alone.

I was suddenly lifted from the ground by extremely warm arms.

"I got her," a man called, his voice strangely familiar. Then he started to jog off in whichever direction. Like I said, I really didn't want to leave that spot. The way I saw things my life was over now that _he_ was gone.

_He's_ gone. _He_ was really gone and now there was a hole in my chest where my heart should have been.

In what felt like hours, but in reality could have been just minutes, the person who was carrying me emerged from the forest.

"Bella!" I heard yet another familiar voice called out from a distance.

"She's fine, Charlie," the man who was carrying me called back to him. Wait, Charlie. Charlie? Dad? Dad... I had to come out of this state for him if anyone. I owed him that. "She just keeps saying 'He's gone,' every once in a while." Had I been saying that out loud?

"Dad?" I managed, with some effort, to say.

"I'm right here, Bells," he said to me. "I got her from here, Sam. Thank – you, so much."

There was an awkward exchange as Charlie took me from Sam's arms.

"He's gone," I whispered again before I blanked out.

Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days, days to weeks, weeks to months. I did everything mechanically. Went to school, did my homework, talked only when spoken to, worked, and ate only when my body demanded it of me. I didn't hang out with my friends. After homework and/ or work, all I did was write. I wrote songs mainly. Always about lost love.

Eventually, Charlie got tired of this.

"I think it's best if you go live with your mom in Jacksonville," he said one day.

"You mean leave Forks?" I replied. "No. I...I...I can't."

"They're not coming back, Bells," he said with a sigh.

"I know that."

"It's not that I want you to go, but this behavior, it's not right. I don't know what to do here. Maybe a change of scenery would do you some good."

"I'm eighteen now, Dad. You can kick me out but you can't make me leave town. I have a job, I could support myself and find a place to stay."

"Okay, okay. You're staying here."

I knew he'd cave if I said I'd just move out. He hated the thought of me being out there all alone. But I knew I wouldn't be staying here after graduation. I'd found three keys left in _his_ jacket's pocket with a note in _his_ elegant script: _A little something for graduation_. One key was to a car, one to their old house, and one to _his_ secret safe that_ he_ had kept in case one, or both, of us had to leave the family.

I'd be moving in there the day after graduation. I had already decided to take all my courses online. _He_ probably left plenty of money to support me for years to come and a vehicle that could go faster than 60 mph at most.

I would only take my personal items with me when I moved, clothes, shower supplies, hygiene materials. I figured they'd probably left most of the furniture there and if they didn't I'd have enough money to buy new stuff. I'd have enough for utilities and food and I would keep my job at Newton's just in case.

That was my plan at least. Not that my life ever goes the way I planned it. If it did then they would still be here and everything would be going just as had since Arizona and James.

Two months had passed and it was Graduation Day, or rather night. Charlie had surprised me by throwing a Graduation Party, inviting a few friends from school but mostly people from La Push. Jake, Sam, and their friends were there along with Billy Black and Harry and Sue Clearwater. The small house was packed.

I was able to escape around eight when my friends from school left and the game came on.

I was up in my room finishing up my packing, when suddenly cold arms wrapped around me. I started to panic. I had just packed _his_ jacket, maybe that's what drew the vampire here.

"I won't let the prophecy come true," the, female, vampire whispered into my ear then she bit me. I let out a blood curling scream and the last thing I saw was my bedroom door slamming open before I blacked out.

For me, the change was like a dream. I didn't feel the burning pain they had described to me or that I had felt when James had bitten me.

It was like I was reliving my lives. When I was bitten, I was able to remember my past lives. I was finally able to know why I had known about vampires my whole life (in all my lives).

In my first life, I was born vampire. Somehow, scientists from way back when were able to mix bat and human DNA; and impregnated women with a child with that DNA. Only one child survived the pregnancy; me.

I was to be a military weapon, but I was too humane; I wouldn't kill anyone who wasn't already dying. Human blood repulsed me.

Eventually, I went into hiding. Feeding off of animals like I always had. But I became lonely. I wanted a child, someone who I could train and love. But I couldn't have children.

One day, I came across a seriously injured hunter. He had lost a lot of blood and probably wouldn't survive. I bit him, somehow knowing that that would make him similar to me.

For three days he screamed in agony, but his heart stopped and he stood up. I had created my own child. Immortal, like I, we had two differences. Where I had many special gifts, he only had one; he could track almost anyone or anything anywhere. He also craved human blood.

For my sake, he never killed a human and was always by my side. I created two others who mated and left our small family for a different life and we never saw them again.

Years went by and slowly my powers drove me insane, One day, I attacked my loyal son, believing he was one of the two who had betrayed me. When I had realized what I had done, I told him of a prophecy, which said that one day I would return and be the salvation of both human and vampire races.

Then, I begged him to kill me. At first, he refused, claiming it was impossible for me to be killed, for any of us to be killed. But I told him the only way to kill our kind and that only those I allow to kill me can, and still he refused. For years, I begged him to kill me, knowing that if he didn't I would eventually kill him, but he never gave in.

Then, the day came when I could no longer control myself and I attacked him once again, this time with the intent to kill him.

He proved the better fighter and, following his instincts alone, he killed me. For years after he went crazy with grief. But eventually, he came to blame me. He started killing humans, thinking of them as food. He swore that he would never let my prophecy come to pass. He changed Aro and before long he found a mate.

Together they hunted humans, my son always looking for the overpowering scent that would mark me, while Aro became more and more powerful.

Over the centuries I was reborn several times, never with the knowledge of my past lives but always with the knowledge of vampires. Many of those lives my son would find and kill me before I could become a vampire once more. In five of those lives, however, he did not. In those lives I died before he could find me but in each of those lives I was able to give birth to children, except for one.

In the first life, I gave birth to a son and when, at the age of 23, he was turned vampire I had a heart attack. In the second life, I gave birth to twins who were turned right in front of my eyes at the age of 15 and then I was killed by the Volturi. In the third life, I killed myself after I learned of my loved one's death in a war. The fourth life gave me another son who had died when he was seventeen because of an illness; and in the fifth, I had one more boy and died on a bear hunting trip when a bear surprised me. My son, a then twenty year old, had been badly mauled and had been found by a vampire who had him change as quickly as possible.

All my other lives, my first son killed me before I could even have a real life. He failed in this life. When he found me and tried to kill me, they killed him. They killed my James.

When I awoke three days later, my boxes where around me and I was in the house that would have become my home.

There was a musky smell that ranked through the house. It smelled like wet dog and repulsed me more than human blood had.

I stood and went to the box marked personal, and found it opened but _his _jacket was still there. I reached into the pocket and notice the house key missing.

The smell grew stronger as I heard paw steps coming from the direction of La Push.

Immediately, I was outside, facing the way they were coming from. Seconds later three giant wolves came into view. One black, one russet, and one gray.

"You must be the ones who brought me here," I said and the black one nodded. "Who are you? How did you know to bring me to they're old house? And what did you tell Charlie?"

The black one looked at the russet one who turned and went behind a bush. I didn't expect Jacob Black to come out.

"Jacob?" I asked. "You're a shape-shifter?"

"Shape-shifter, Bella?" he asked. "We're werewolves."

"No, werewolves can only come out the night of the full moon," I said knowing these things. "It may be night but this month's full moon was last week, you're shape-shifters."

"Whatever," he said. "The black one is Sam and the gray is Leah. We brought you here because your room reeked of a Cullen. And Charlie thinks you've been kidnapped. Which leech bit you, Bella?"

"_**Don't **_call us that," I snapped. "We've been around longer than any shape-shifter or werewolf. I should know. I was, in my first life, the first vampire, born this way. And it wasn't a Cullen who changed me. She was one of the few that knew of the vampire prophecy. None of them knew it, not even Carlisle. If it was who I think it was, then she was the first vampire I created's mate.

"They killed James, her mate, my son, when he tried to kill me to keep the prophecy from happening. I'm guessing one of you pulled her off me?"

"No, we got too close, she dropped you, and we went after her but we lost her"

"You would have. She can escape almost any situation, it's her gift."

"The treaty applies to you as it did the the other blood-"

"_**DON'T CALL US THAT!**_ You really don't want to get me angry. It would become a battle you would lose."

"Three of us, only one of you, I think you should rethink that."

"I don't. My powers have returned. No one can kill me, Jacob, unless I want to die and believe me, I don't."

I felt my eyes start showing the age of my soul; the power of it. Jake backed away.

"I am the most powerful vampire. If you think the three of you can take me, then go ahead and try but the outcome won't be in your favor."

"We didn't come here to fight."

"Good, violence isn't the answer. Please return my key. I'll be leaving town soon, I need to lock this place up."

"How do you expect to leave without a car?"

"I have a vehicle. _He_ left it along with some money. Now please give me back my key."

"We left it on the dining room table."

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find my most valuable possessions and put them into my new car."

"Wait. You said powers, what powers?"

I sighed. For a pack that could kill two vampires with my venom in their veins they could be rather stupid.

"Certain vampires have special powers, but not all. Take the Cullens for example; they had a mind reader, a future seer, and an empath. I have many of these powers. Actually, now that I think about it, I have all of the powers plus some no one else has. Now I really must go. I need to get to the east coast as quickly as my car will take me."

With that I turned and went inside. I went straight to the boxes first and grabbed _his _jacket first. I could hear the shifters leaving, running as quickly as they could. I put the jacket on and pulled my necklace out from under my shirt.

Holding on to the pendant, I dug out my diaries and the books that I would take with me.

I locked all the entry ways of the house and put the key back in the pocket I had originally found it. I ran to Alice and _his_ room and went straight to the second closest. I pulled up the three loose floor boards and pulled our secret safe out of the hole in the floor. I placed the floor boards back and ran to the garage.

_He_ had had the car costume made. It was an orange mustang with tinted windows so dark they were nearly black. My guess was that in could go nearly two hundred miles per hour.

I popped open the trunk and put the safe, my books, and my dairies in it. Then I unlocked my car and drove away, not looking back once.

I would find them. I had to find my family; I had to find _him_. Even if it took a thousand years, I will be in _his_ arms again.

Chapter Four

Twenty Years Later

In twenty years of searching, I rarely found any trace of them. In the hand full of times I did find at least one of their scents, it was cold, at least one month old, and when I asked the people of these cities or towns the answer was always the same, they had just moved.

Of course, they never really meant to go where they had told the town; it was just their cover. In twenty years, I have searched every continental state along with Alaska; never staying in one place for more than two weeks. Still, I have come up empty.

Carlisle could have taken them to his home country, but that would mean another twenty to thirty years of searching. I didn't have that long if I wanted to save both my kind and the human race. I had to start gathering my children from my past lives. All five had become vampires. I need their strength if I am to do what needs to be done. With the knowledge I had received from my life as Bella Swan, I knew all but one of my children were alive; all except James.

I knew where I would go next. I would go to my twins; let them see the truth for the first time since Aro had them changed. And I would go in the form they had last seen me; I would go as their mother, Elena Klaus.

The plane ride was horrific. The scents of the humans' blood all mixed together was almost enough to make me wish I had taken a boat across the Atlantic, almost. The man beside me had horrid breath and he wouldn't stop talking. I just nodded my head politely, pretending to listen as he rambled on and on about how this was his first time on an airplane and that he was visiting his great aunt who lived in Rome.

My mind was elsewhere. I knew that my twins probably wouldn't recognize me, even if I entered the chamber exactly as I had when Felix snapped my neck, killing me. It had been two and a half centuries since then and human memories fade over time. Most of the others would know who I am though; especially Aro, Caius, and Marcus.

Some hours later, I arrived in Volterra, Italy. Within seconds I was in the lobby where a young woman greeted me in Italian. I briskly walked past her toward the doors.

"Wait," she called after me. "You can't go in there." I ignored her and walked through the wooden French doors.

The scene before me angered me. Felix and Demetri had hold of a vampire who was struggling to get break free to get to an immortal child who was backed into a corner by my twins. The child seemed to be the only one to notice my sudden entrance and rushed toward me, hoping she'd make it to me before they used their powers on her.

I pushed my shield out around her just as my daughter turned and concentrated on the poor child. I felt her power hit my shield. In frustration, she tried again as I lifted the girl into my arms.

That's when everyone turned to me and Aro took in a sharp, unneeded breath.

"It can't be," he whispered. "Elena Klaus?"

"Yes, Aro," I replied in a strong voice. "That has been one of my names over the centuries; one of my lives. I have come to get my twins out of your clutches. I've come to let them remember me. Jane, Alec, in one of my past lives, I was your mother and I'll be damned before I let you touché one hair on this child's head in a harmful way."


End file.
